So today, I once more encountered a bug which every intelligent straight male with good platonic female friends have on at least some occasions been tripped up by.
The result was the usual series of blushing and incoherent attempts at not ruining the friendship because all of a sudden you were momentarily thinking of the friend in question in a whole different light, and due to your long existing friendship it’s not a light you would normally think of her in, nor one you actually want to pursue and what’s worse, you know you ought to just STFU but instead you keep yammering on with some odd mixture of apologetic “I don’t normally think of you like this” and “but man I wish you thought of me like this” which if plotted would form a perfect sine-wave.
Luckily any clever girl will not take it personally. She will just laugh heartily as she watches you make a complete fool of yourself and not be either scared or offended. The reason of course being that she has seen the bug long ago and accepted it as just part of being friends with a guy, and who you are when it’s not triggered is still a good friend and besides, it’s funny as hell to watch.
The bug is normally triggered when a friend who really is just a friend but whom you also find attractive happens to say something naughty and personal or just something that notably reminds you that she is a sexual being.
This causes the higher-brain algorithms to call a function from libmale.so which is programmed in the core OS and protected so it can be neither overridden nor masked as it is apparently part of the “survival of the species” collection.
In most occasions when it is called, it is probably useful to the goal of ensuring the species survives, but when triggered by accident in inappropriate circumstances… it’s really a rather annoying bug.
Here is the code:
mental.concept.handler(pussy) {
if girl.IsAttractive() {
Self.IQ -= 100; // Note that on some hardware this could set Self.IQ to a negative number.
}
}
Since there is apparently no way to debug the code, I can simply post this bug report and hope that $DEITY will ship a patch for the next generation, or at least the public may be warned.