So I’m sure you’re all in one of two categories by now. Either you are eagerly waiting for the next chapter in OMGpwnies’s diary, or you’re just eagerly waiting for me to write about anything at all else for a change.
Well today I figured I’d serve the second category and write about something else. For those in the former group – don’t worry, a new diary is coming tomorrow – and it includes some pretty cool stuff – including the tanking of Gnomerigan.

Today’s post is somewhere between humor, philosophy and politics… but ultimately it’s a bit of light hearted dreaming with some serious moments… I am about to list my top ten predictions on what would happen if I lived in a perfect world… and then my top ten predictions on what will probably happen instead. Timeline… give it say, 2 years – putting us neatly in 2012.

And yes it’s all very silly, but hopefully, in silliness lies a bit of make-you-think.

In a perfect world
1. Will Wheaton becomes the first unanimously elected president of the United States
2. My wife Felicia Venter (born Day) and I are decide to name our first born daughter Jaina Proudmoore Venter.
3. Seph Blatter’s four year trial for single-handedly bankrupting South Africa ends with his conviction and sentencing to ten years in Rooigrond prison.
4. Julius Malema’s body is found in his parktown home, apparently having drowned in his heated pool after going for a drunken swim. His will has all his assets sold and the money used to form a trust-fund for poverty-relief (somebody told him it would look good in the press and there’d be plenty of time to change it after everyone had forgotten again).
5. Steve Hoffmeir and Joost Van Der Westhuizen announce that they are in fact gay, and are getting married. The entire country gossips about who will cheat first and who with. A year later they discover they were both cheating at the same time… wih Nathaniel.
6. As a direct result of the above – every conservative Afrikaans family in the country suddenly decide that moffies are cool, and not the spawn of Satan after all and furthermore declare that they have always thought so and “look I even have a moffie friend who cuts my hair”. They can’t figure out that you won’t really pass much mustard as having gone beyond discrimination while you continue to use pejorative terms like “moffie” but at least they are making the effort.
7. After yet another spate of shocking revelations of corruption, the accused politicians actually resign their jobs and apologize to the people.
8. Multiple independent sources determine that violent crime in South Africa is now the lowest in the world. Nobody can even remember what all those razor-wire fences were for.
9. The government declares digital freedom a basic human right. Copyright terms are reduced to 14 years, software may not be legally sold or distributed in any other form without source code and there is a ban on “protective measure” technologies that could interfere with citizens exercise of their fair dealing rights. Copyright propaganda that overstates the limits of copyright becomes grounds for having said copyright revoked. The success of the program in South Africa leads to it’s adoption in the EU and Canada and subsequent enforcement as WIPO treaty
10. HIV vaccination is approved for human use and subsequently becomes a legal requirement much like polio in the past, with the tide of new infections stemmed, the eradication of the disease becomes a viable reality

What will probably happen instead
1. Outrage over Obama’s liberal politics lead to a far-right swing in US politics and Rush Limbaugh becomes the leader of the free world, thus effectively removing any “freedom” in it for anybody who isn’t a Straight,White, Wealthy,American, Christian.
2. Still a single divorcee, I sit on my couch watching Doctor Who and trying to decide if I’ll eat pronutro for dinner or bother to call for pizza
3. President-for-life Jacob Zuma announces that after his sterling success running the reserve bank for 3 years and maintaining both inflation and interest rates of over 30%, Seph Blatter is to become the new Minister of Finance.
4. Julius Malema’s body is found in a the pool of a Sandton Socialite of the new “Black-Kugel” variety, as is hers, both apparently overdosed on cocaine which they were snorting through rolled up copies of the South African constitution.. Rather than finally ruining faith in his rhetoric, he is hailed as a martyr and the ANCYL announces that in his memory they will never again elect a leader who has passed any subjects in school… ever.
5. Steve and Joost , both feeling their last scandals sufficiently forgotten, announces their next marriages. Somehow, yet again, both are getting married to models.
6. The ACDP announces that should they win enough seats in parliament they will campaign for the ritual stoning of gay people as an official policy. Thousands of Afrikaans families switch their votes from the DA to the ACDP.
7. After yet another spate of corruption charges, numerous MPs are found guilty, fined and return to work the next day with no concerns about the matter.
8. South Africa’s violent crime rate actually hits a daily death-toll that surpasses that of the (continuing) war in Iraq.
9. The government declares that Microsoft and Apple are now the only .legal entities allowed to sell software in South Africa, fair dealing laws are scrapped, and under pressure from WIPO a DMCA style prohibition on bypassing protection measures is put in place. Downloading an MP3 now carries the death penalty they refuse to give to murderers.
10. The minister of health declares that, in contrast to the FDA, the HIV Vaccine which the was declared fit-for-human-trials in 2009 already and is now declared safe and usable, has a minor risk of damaging your hair follicles and will therefore be banned in South Africa. It takes 6 years and numerous court cases to get it made available in state hospitals and those who get the vaccine are generally excommunicated from their churches on suspicion of promiscuity.

So… which future do you want to live in? What will you do to make the right one happen ?