Feb 042010

Now I know I’m fokken famous but I was still kina surprized when my phone rang and Yo-Landi asked me out cos she’s way more fokken famous than I is. At least now that MaxNormal ditched the three-piece suits and reinvented themselves as Die Antwoord.
I’m not even all that used to girls asking me out, throwing me undies with their number on is a more usual approach but I guess she’s a bit fokken old-fashioned in that regard. So I spent some time thinking what a chick like her would actually, you know like, dig and shit, and came up with this perfect date plan.

Hired the perfect car (a 1988 Toyota Hilux bakkie met fucked suspension), and picked her up from her posh pozzie in *censored* where her bra’s DJ HiTek and Max Waddy first read me the fokken leviete about taking good care of her and not fokken playing with their little friend and having her home before fokken dawn…
So off we go to her favorite fokken restaurant (a wimpy drive through) and then to go watch the the city lights from some fokken naais romantiek hilltop somewhere. Next fokken thing I know… she’s like: “bru… jy’s fokken tasty, pomp my.”.. and one thing jumped on another en toe creak daai fokken hilux se springs harder as HiTek se fokken next-level beats.

I had to stick my finger in her mouth to suck on – but mostly to make her stop trying to fokken dirty talk cos that’s just not on … at least, not the fokken way she does it… what can I fokken say ? I mean she may be a fokken zef rapper but I don’t think rapping the lyrics of rich-bitch during orgasm is all that fokken appealing, besides she can’t rap as fast as fokken Max so she wasn’t keeping up with the rythm of the fokken springs and I wasn’t gonna slow that down. Fok daai kak.

Anyways, about five seconds later she’s complaining cos I’m taking too long and she’s getting fokken tired, so we finish off and I drop her off…

She’s fokken awesome.

DISCLAIMER: This post is a parody review of the band. I did not in fact go on an actual date with Yo-Landi in a Hilux (or any other vehicle) and I did
not in fact sleep with her, or in fact ever even meet her (so if there’s ever a paternity claim I know it aint mine)…
I just wanted to get into the spirit of the thing. I dig the irony of the band, and I hope they’ll dig the irony of my chosen review style.

Dec 172009

I was 15 when the Rugby World Cup happened in South Africa, I’d seen during my early teenage years the nature of the country change in law, but the old rift between cultures remaining and even getting worse.

I saw the nation getting behind a team that, not long before, much of them had despised. When we beat Australia in that first match, I saw this country gain hope where, previously, there had been despair. A shared hope – that we could win that thing. Saw us unite behind a team that, not long before, had been underdogs.

Saw that series become, the first thing, that all  South Africans could really share, and when we beat all the odds and defeated New Zeeland in that final…  I saw us party together, saw the start of a festival that, over several weeks, would begin to forge a new South African shared culture, the one we live in today.

So I went to see Invictus with a mixture of excitement and scepticism. The history of Nelson Mandela up until 1994’s inauguration was well known, but what he did for this country in that next year, culminating the  world cup, how it changed our nation was an extremely important part of the history which those outside this nation hardly knew. For those of us who live here, and love this country, that first year is why we see Mandela – not as a politician, but as a statesman, a leader, and a servant of his people.

That was the part where, he truly differentiated himself. Winning a struggle for freedom – many have done that, most fell to corruption and petty revenge afterward. Nelson Mandela said “now let us bury the hatchets, and build a better future together” and led the way – by example.

Invictus tells that story, in a way that I believe will convey it to the outside world as the enormous piece of history it truly was, in a way that even those of us who were there – who watched it unfold on our televisions and danced in the streets at it’s culmination would feel renewed in the spirit of those days. Not just remember them, but relive them. And in a way that the many 14 year olds in this country who weren’t there, who never experienced that, can learn it and, I have no doubt, understand it.

I struggle to admit it but this year saw two South African movies that are both, among the best movies ever made. District 9 must gain massive credit for being truly a “made here by local talent” movie, Invictus has two American stars surrounded by an otherwise South African cast instead. But while District9 was a great sifi action movie, a genuine parodic study of South African culture and one of the most orriginal stories I’ve ever seen, Invictus is a piece of history retold with exceptional skill.

While district9 will be a classic among film buffs for generations, Invictus should be required watching in every school in the country from now on. Bravo Clint Eastwood for excellent directing, John Carlin for writing the book about the events before we could forget, Morgan Freeman for playing Madiba… just as we remember him, and Mat Damon for living up to the daunting task of playing Francois Pienaar with, I thought, far more success than I would have expected.

Without spoiling the movie, I can just say… every single one of those memories that made us love that time… will be there, be relived, and celebrated. I have never written a review without some critique before, but this time – I’m making an exception. I can find no fault with Invictus. Go watch it.

Dec 092009

I won’t get into the concerns about whether google chrome is proper free software right now, mostly because I’ve started a discussion on it with the gnu/linux-libre group, which is a coalition of free distro developers where we collaborate and discuss these things together – and I don’t want to push anything until that conversation is done. Instead, here’s my review of the google-chrome browser’s official GNU/Linux beta release as I found it in my testing – with a mostly technical focus.

This also means there won’t be a kongoni port just yet – whether there will be one depends on the outcome of the aforementioned discussions.

I received a mail from google last night (which I’d requested) to inform me that the Linux beta for google-chrome is now officially available, followed the link and got greeted by a nice XKCD-esque comic about it. Followed another link and got the download page with the ugly EULA. Oh well. Packages were available for a few major distros – four in all, 32/64 bit RPM’s and 32/64 bit debs.

Kongoni can convert either to a usable format, and I’d previously done some chromium testing using the debs, but I opted for the RPM’s here. Doubt this makes much difference but just for interest. I grabbed the 64-bit one, ran rpm2tgz on it, and installed it. It created a /etc/cron.daily script which is meant to install the regular updates, currently of course, this won’t work, but if I end up supporting it, the kongoni version can easily enough replace it with it’s own. The RPM version’s script seems to use yum, presumably the deb version will use apt.

That out of the way, the next clencher was that it missed some libraries from mozilla-nss, which was odd since I have it installed. Double-check, the library names weren’t the same – close but it wanted additonal 1d and 0d extensions, a couple of symlinks sorted that out.

It came up, seemed to work – but wouldn’t render anything, checked the console output – lots of shm messages. Okay, I know that one from earlier experiments, set /dev/shm to world-writeable and retried. It imported my firefox settings, including saved passwords and bookmarks wonderfully – and suddenly, it works sweetly.

Okay, start playing… it’s fast, very fast. Faster than I remember from testing on windows… much faster. It’s slick, easy to use and just flows around the net. Played a bit with extensions – installing one for facebook and one for twitter – both worked instantly, without requiring a restart, and ran very nicely (though the buttons-next-to-the-address-bar choice may not be their best decision, that could get very cluttered fast for people with lots of extensions). Some googling around failed to find an addblocking extension just yet or anything for laconi.ca but I may just have not looked hard enough.

Still, I rather like it, it’s bleeding fast, beautifully rendered.. just about perfect in fact. The slight difficulties installing is probably because I didn’t built a proper kongoni port, and thus had to do manual effort to sort things out when converting a package built for another distro. All in all, I think google and their volunteer developers on chromium did and awesome job with the port. Well done, when my only gripe is a minor one of aesthetics – that says something.