Where’s Jesse

This is probably the oldest of my poems to survive, I remember that I wrote it while still in high school – making it at least 12 years old now. Most other poems of the time I wrote, lost and discarded… this one always stuck with me though. The reason being that Jesse really lived, she was a very good friend of mine (although I changed her name for the poem

Jesse what did you do to yourself ?
Where’s your youth,
Where’s your vigor,
Where’s your health ?
Jesse, did I break your heart ?
You said you never loved me.
Am I flattering myself ?
Did you do this without thinking of me ?

I thought I knew you Jesse,
I thought I saw your soul.
Is this the new you Jesse,
You seem so hurt and old.
This can’t be true !
Where’s the real Jesse ?
And who the fuck are you ?

I see the dark rings around your eyes,
And the yellow marks on your hands,
The Jesse I loved didn’t touch that shit,
And she’d never wake up naked in her garden in the sand.
Jesse, where’s your purity ?
Don’t you know I loved it.

Jesse, I came back
When I realized my mistake
Jesse, what did you do to yourself ?
Jesse, I’m too late