I felt like writing a poem today

 
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I felt like writing a poem today
I haven’t written one in many years
once I published a book of them
once I told the world my hopes and fears.

I felt like writing a poem today
but maybe I’m not as convinced of my own importance anymore
because I am writing it in a blog post, to be read and discarded and forgotten
As pretty and fleeting and impermanent as a castle on the sandy shore.
I felt like writing a poem today
something in me was inspired
I haven’t written one since I fell in love a long time ago
In a way it’s a eulogy to love expired

I felt like writing a poem today
And wrote a poem about wanting to write one
Self-referential, existential, quasi-intellectual… bullshit
And I can’t find a line because I want to write more and the only rhyme I can find is “done”.

I felt like writing a poem today
forgive me, I’m seriously out of practice
I’m no longer so used to letting the world comment on my soul
and that makes me rather nervous

I felt like writing a poem today
something nostalgic and sweet and happy and funny and sad
and all the mixed up emotions of my inner turmoil
Something that makes the reader smile even as it makes him feel bad.

I felt like writing a poem today
for all the things I’ll never be, the astronaut and the rockstar
and for how embarrassing it is to admit those two
and how I just don’t care because you can’t draw blood from a scar

I felt like writing a poem today
with too many versus and not enough rhythm and too much honesty
about love and loss and crushes and sexual frustrations
And then stick it in a blog post to live… ever so fleetingly.

I felt like writing a poem today
Help me because I don’t want to reach the end
I’ve tripped into eloquence and I can’t get up.
There is a hole in me I’m trying to mend.

I felt like writing a poem today
to tell the world everything and nothing and make you blush
and laugh and cry and weep and sigh
I felt like writing a poem today, and I did… what a rush.

I felt like writing a poem today
and if I don’t stop soon I’m gonna end up like Milton… interest lost.
except I’m not trying to preach or teach
I’m just communing with the shell and the ghost.

I felt like writing a poem today
So I wrote a poem, and stuck it in a blogpost with no regrets about it.
And now I’m going to hit publish
and then I’m going to forget about it.